RMB might as well have his name changed to RIP. Harsh, but an accurate sentiment after his betrayal in finding a new love in such a short amount of time after ours was just put on hold once again (less than 2 weeks). But that was the way the cookie crumbled, and he found exactly what he wasn't looking for in Chile. As one can imagine, seeing pictures of them practically kissing with her on his lap broke my heart and led me to quite the reality check. One I had been needing for a while, but lacked in its appearance. This one was rough though. After all, we were in love and I was being told that that love wasn't good enough. This other girl could offer a better love than I could, and has continuously done so. This led me to question the whole concept of love once again in my life, and ended up not being the last time.
Those original words that united our souls and intertwined them in their own unique fashion now brought a twinge of pain with their melody. How could this be? Was my love not enough? Why did I have to suffer from depression and bring him directly in the middle of the fight? Why did he save me from myself? And most importantly...
How can I love better?
The month before he fell in love again with a stranger we were together. Singing happily and partying often, enjoying each others' presence to the fullest since we knew our time was limited but worth it. I loved him deeply and truly, more so than any other human being at that time and the most I have loved a man since. He was good, honest, true, valiant, and compassionate. A love that can never be replaced due to its unique nature and origin. RMB signified love for me, one based in friendship and one that I messed up by breaking the trust that the relationship was so vitally based upon. This remains today one of my biggest regrets.